


Cosmic Love

by LuminousLady



Category: League of Legends
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuminousLady/pseuds/LuminousLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is unpredictable, unusual, and universal. It is never what one expects it to be. A collection of drabbles about Ez/Lux that I write whenever I feel inspired. [follows Institute of War/cataclysm lore]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aperture

**Aperture:**   
_The size of the opening through which light passes in an optical instrument such as a telescope. A higher number represents a smaller opening while a lower number represents a larger opening._

The first time Lux sees him is in the Planetarium of Piltover. She is sitting in the auditorium, listening intently to the speaker drone on about constellations. He's a stout little man, clad in a gray suit, and he only means well. It's relieving that she enjoys astronomy and the like, otherwise she will fall asleep in her seat. She also enjoys the vast differences between her city, Demacia, and this one. Piltover had guns, cars, robots... Demacia had swords, horses, soldiers. There is a stark difference, but it is one she can admire.

The speaker then directs a question towards the audience. A hand shoots up before Lux even blinks, and it links to a boy with flaxen hair.

"That constellation would be... Aminus. It can only be seen once every fourteen years." He says, his voice tinted with confidence. She is alarmed. She has never seen anyone answer a question so fast; especially, since she was the one to graduate at the top of her class at the College of Magic.

"Rightfully so, Ezreal!" The speaker chortles. He continues on with the lecture, but the mage is no longer paying attention to him. She's focused on that boy with the flaxen, unkempt hair and those eyes that are filled with the hue of the cloudless skies.

 _Ezreal_. _What a name._ Lux arches an eyebrow.

* * *

After the presentation, the audience is crowded around the displays of the universe that are planted across the hallways. But most of all, one can find that Ezreal is quite popular as well-a horde of fans approach the explorer, asking him for his autograph and where he's going next.

For some reason, Luxanna wants to approach him, but she cannot. Her feet refuse to budge. What an inconvenience. She's so used to acting proper and happy, but this time, she finds that she'd rather avoid him. He's invoking strange, foreign feelings within her. She feels intimidated by his presence, but she wants to be friends. Feelings that she wants to ignore.

And so she does; after all, she does have a strong will.

* * *

The facade does not keep up for long. With each trip to Piltover, Lux learns a bit more about the explorer. How he, a magical prodigy just as she, had taken a different route and dropped out of school to pursue his dreams of exploring the world. How he was much braver than she, although she loved her education. How he mapped each individual tunnel underneath the entire city of Piltover. How he had romanticized stories written about his adventures. He was practically a celebrity within the city, but he did not seem to act as so.

One day, she sees him out of the corner of her eye. She is in the Piltovian library this time, picking up a book about techmaturgy and hextech. He is across the way from her, his eyes meeting hers. Silence overwhelms them; Lux feels as if it has been minutes instead of seconds.

"Hello," the boy with flaxen hair says slowly.

"Hello." She responds, avoiding eye contact. She would be reprimanded for that, if her parents were here.

"I see you picked up the book instead." He flashes a grin towards her.

"My apologies." The Lady finds her voice, lifting the book over the gap in the shelf. "I was just browsing-"

Ezreal puts a hand up to stop her. "It's okay. I've read that book plenty of times. It's just a nice reference from time to time."

"I... I don't really need it," Lux says, suddenly embarrassed. "It's not like we have access to this technology at home."

"Oh. About that. You don't look like you're from around here." He laughs quietly. "Your armor is very distinctive-Demacian?"

"Yes, Demacian." Somehow, _Demacian_ is pronounced with more ice than she'd like.

"What are you doing here then?"

"I'm... I'm a diplomat, I guess you could say. I'm here to oversee the developments between Piltovian and Demacian politics-"

He groans. "You lost me at politics. No wonder you're here...uh...?" The blonde boy awaits an answer.

"Lux."

"Lux. What a fitting name. Well, I'm Ezreal. I'll let you look at the book-you look too bright to be invested in that shit."

She raises an eyebrow at his response. _Shit_? _How improper_. He laughs.

"Well... it was nice meeting you, Lux." Ezreal offers her a grin again before pivoting around towards the exit of the library.

She waves at him, before considering the option of borrowing the book. She doesn't. The Lady places it gingerly back on the shelf, biting her lip with hesitation.


	2. Equinox I

**Equinox:  
** _The two points at which the Sun crosses the celestial equator in its yearly path in the sky._

The second time they meet is when Lux joins the League of Legends. It has been years since that fateful meeting in the Piltovian library. She hasn't gone back since. She finds the Demacian Library just as fulfilling, if not more. Before she realizes, her curiosity towards the explorer has waned.

The Lady has mentally practiced her time of judgment. She has done her research, and she knows how these things go. The head summoners test the champions with illusions. After all, acting is a big part of who she is. She briskly darts through the hallways of the Institute, ready to face another challenge head on.

What she isn't expecting is to be slammed with the memories of her former self. The thirteen year old who had cried herself to sleep every night, who was forced against her will into the Demacian military by her own parents. She can taste the bitterness she felt and still feels. She can also taste the salt from her tears. She wants to forget it. She wants to be free.

Slumping to the ground, Lux answers their question meekly: "Because I have nothing else."

It's true; she has lost her brother to the League. She has already lost her parents. She feels she has lost her dignity, revealing her inner demons to these strangers. But she loves Demacia, nonetheless.

She loves the feeling of the diploma sitting in her hands, graduating from the College of Magic as the top of her class. Impressing the rest of her comrades with the information she had gotten to turn over the Noxian-Ionian conflict over to Ionia's advantage.

However, she also remembers her first kill. It was messy; her hands fumbling with the dagger. A swift slash to the chest of a Noxian prisoner. It had to be _right_ -they were _Noxians_. They were the enemy. They always were. It was protocol at this point.

A part of her wanted to resist too. It didn't have to be protocol; times were changing along with the League. Things could be better. Different.

She struggles to accept this realization, that perhaps she isn't truly Demacian. That perhaps she is defective and can't understand the Demacian standard, even if she is a Crownguard.

Luxanna is standing in the hallways of the Institute, pondering. Trying to collect herself together again. Thinking of how things could be different. Wondering how it came down to this. The boy with the flaxen, unruly hair taps her on the shoulder.

"I thought I recognized that armor." He whispers with a smirk.

She is unamused and bewildered, her fists clenching against her skirt. She isn't expecting to meet another champion so soon, especially him.

"You're here." That is all she can say, apparently. He's got her tongue tied.

"Yes, after all... I'm here because of this amulet." Ezreal rolls his eyes, but with a smile Lux hasn't seen before. "But you're here... because... you made your choice."

Her eyes seem to glint at him. He notices. For once, she's not trapped. For once, she realizes she made her decision this time. That she is here because she can be and chooses to be.

And he isn't.


	3. Solstice

**Solstice:**  
_The time of the year when the Sun appears furthest north or south of the celestial equator._

Although Lux has been in the League for months, it feels as if she is still the newest addition. Her brother and Prince Jarvan IV hardly look her way, and it infuriates her. She finds herself clenching her fists every time she spots them, and then they speak five or less words to her. The Lady has gotten used to summoning by now, and she prefers this over spying on the Noxian High Command.

Lux makes no motive to approach anyone. She loves the lifestyle of a noble, but hates meeting people. A book and a comfortable chair are all she needs right now. People can retain their distance for all she cares. They only see a spoiled, bratty Crownguard and nothing else. What a waste of time, she thinks.

The two people she ends up talking to are strangely Caitlyn and Janna–Piltovian champions who are considered her allies. Caitlyn is strangely mature and thoughtful while Janna's more sociable. Vi also interacts with her, but only because Caitlyn is her partner in fighting crime.

She avoids the boy, the adventurer known as Ezreal. She cannot find it in her heart to talk to him–his presence tugs at her when she does not even know him. But he represents something she wants: freedom. She cannot have it, she knows. She knows that if she talks to him, she'll forget why she is there. She is supposed to prove her worth, her faith, and he proves that she does not have to.

She does not want this.

But gravity is a concept she must accept. An inexplicable force that pulls objects together. The force of attraction.


	4. Gravity

Gravity:  
 _A mutual physical force of nature that causes two bodies to attract each other. A force whose full origin and purpose are unknown.  
_

Somehow, she has put aside her fear. She has avoided him thus far, but somehow, fate brings them together. It does not help that her closest friends are from the same faction as he. Slowly, they become a part of each other's lives. They frequently run into each other at the library, if not the Fields. She peers at the cover of a book he is reading. He takes notice, and turns to her. Series of questions pour from her mouth and he has an answer to all of them. Ezreal is happy that someone cares about the world in some extent, even if this girl is not an explorer herself.

She is taking a mental note of what he says. He knows so much about Valoran and Runeterra as a whole, whilst she's only fluent in Demacian and Noxian matters. He tells her of his adventures in the Kumungu Jungle, the Shurima Desert and Kalamanda. He has been everywhere and he knows so much. Past the southern barrier, where she does not dare go.

Conversation seems to flow easily with him. With Ezreal, Lux feels as if she is a walking contradiction. She feels safe, yet hesitant. Mature and immature. She feels free, but trapped all at once. He brings her laughter–real laughter that she thought had been buried deep within her bones.

She begins to appreciate their little meetings. She begins to appreciate his stories. She begins to appreciate _him._

* * *

He thinks the same. He thinks she is a magnificent person. He wants to reach her too. He thinks she is a light that cannot be extinguished. A guiding light that is much more than meets the eye.

The wonder and intrigue he feels when he discovers a new artifact is intact whenever she is around. She is more than she lets on, and he knows this. Yet she will not let him in. He tries to study her, but he cannot.

He enjoys telling her of his adventures, of his passions, of his past. She takes it all in, laughing from time to time. Speaking of experiences from her own when she can relate. But he teaches her, and she loves all of it. Perhaps because she wants to be brave as he.

He knows she is trapped. He wants to free her, release her from her cage. She deserves more credit than she will give herself. He cares for her, that is true.

But he has already given himself to the world. He cannot give any more of himself. He will not. He does not feel for her, as she does for him.

Sad how he has pulled her within his orbit, and she feels so lost.


	5. Magnitude

Magnitude:  
 _The degree of brightness of a star or other object in the sky._

He always has that aura of confidence surrounding him, no matter what he's doing. It is past both of their bedtimes, but Luxanna is always alert and awake whenever she is near Ezreal. He always sparks a passion within her, one that she thought had been dormant all her life. Or at least more contained.

Ezreal, however, does not want to be conscious at all. He lazily presses his head against one of the silk pillows aligned along the headboard of his bed, gesturing towards a book for Lux to read. "It's my favorite one…" He manages to whine, his words accompanied by a sweet slur, as if lathered with honey. Somehow, the Demacian finds this endearing… which concerns her.

Of course, he wants her to read him a bedtime story. Reflecting, Lux wonders if she could ever have avoided this situation, but she figures that is unlikely. They are best friends after all.

"Alright. Here. I'll read it to you." She jokes, grabbing the book off the shelf.

He only smiles at her softly, the creases in his face easing. She isn't expecting that, and is definitely not expecting her heart to jolt at this. She sits down on the rustled sheets, wrinkling them some. She begins reading to him aloud, making sure to enunciate, but not to speak too loudly.

 _What am I doing_? The mage ponders.

He has dozed off after the first few paragraphs. _No surprise there,_ she thinks. He seems to be dreaming peacefully, his chest rising and lowering slowly with his quiet breaths. She chuckles an inaudible laugh that probably only the explorer had ever heard. Watching his face, she realizes she does care for him. That she will do anything to support him and take care of him when he needs it. He's become important to her, somehow. All within a matter of weeks. It confuses her, and she hates it. She loves being in control, but with him, she's losing every ounce of it.

Lux does not stop reading to him, although he sleeps. She reads until the end of the book. It is a rather short one; once she finishes, the blonde tucks a blanket over him, entertained at the sight of a sleeping explorer.

"Sweet dreams, Ezreal." She whispers before blowing out the candles.


	6. Nova

Nova:  
 _A star that flares up to several times its original brightness for some time before returning to its original state._

Every day she spends with Ezreal is a blessing. He is her breath of fresh air, away from all the bustle of being the Demacian poster girl. Away from being an example for her people.

She only hopes she can do the same for him–to be his breath of fresh air. To be the wind underneath his wings.

They are sitting in his room of the Institute of War. She is laughing–she doesn't remember how long it's been since she's sincerely felt free. Free. It's the feeling that he seems to radiate from his body and infect her with. She does not need to put on an act, no, she is Lux and only Lux around him.

He teaches her so much about the world, more than she could ever ask for in college. While she may be a magical prodigy, he shows her the secrets of the universe: the untold treasures. Ezreal's eyes light up when he talks of the world, and this light is even brighter than the element she controls nearly every day of her life.

He is sitting next to her on his plush bed; they are as they always are. The explorer suddenly pulls a folded piece of paper from one of the pockets of his jacket and hands it to her. She looks down in surprise.

"It's a present." Ezreal says with a grin.

The Demacian unfolds it, behold: it's a sketch of the fountain in the Fields. It's detailed, shaded, the lines flow together–she's amazed.

"You drew this for me?"

"Yeah." He leans back against the sheets of the bed, folding his arms behind his head and smirks at her with pride. "You know I sketch."

"Yeah…" Lux bites her lip, clutching the paper tightly, but not enough to crinkle it. She treasures it, but she doesn't know how to explain herself.

"It's really beautiful. I think I'll hang it up, Ezreal."

"Glad you appreciate my work. Heh." He sits up this time, peering into her eyes. Her skin is flushed. She's suddenly shy.

 _He's everything I want_ , she thinks. He has no obligations to anyone. He can do as he wishes. He is himself and he belongs to the world. He's a free spirit.

She… she's a Crownguard. Her name already binds her. Her birthright, her status, her existence are all imprisoning. He is the opposite of her, but not exactly. The way his eyes gleam when he talks about his discoveries, the way his rough hands feel against her silk fingers, the way he smirks as if he's on top of the world.

He's got everything to her. And she doesn't know what to do.


	7. Apastron

**I.**

Ezreal has been acting distant. He still has the spark when he speaks, but it is dimmer than before. Something is wrong. But he will not tell her. What sort of best friend is she?

"Ezreal." She says one day. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing... there's just... well... there's this person... who I think is really cute."

"C-cute?" The word barely escapes the Demacian's lips.

"Yeah... they're... something special." He smiles warmly at her. "I don't know what to do. This feeling... it really only happens rarely."

_Same_ , she wants to say. He's the first one to induce this sort of feeling within her. But all she can do is smile. What is worse than faking it with your own best friend?

"I'm happy you found someone like that," she says, trying to keep herself from shaking.

"Thanks, Lux. I hope you find 'em too."

_I already have._

**II.**

She doesn't ask him about it again. And he makes no effort to tell her anything either. Today is a special day, and she only wants to treasure their friendship.

"Happy birthday, Ezreal. Even though I'm not feeling like myself lately, I still wanted to wish you a very happy birthday!" She hands him a box of chocolate cake.

Not saying a word, the explorer takes the cake from the mage and lightly sets it down on the floor, then reaches forward, grasping her in an almost unbearably tight hug.

"Thank you." he mumbles into her shoulder, honestly more grateful for her presence than the dessert she brought.

Surprised by his sudden hug, she tenses up… then relaxes against his frame. "Of course, Ezreal. It's your birthday!" Lux says with affection, holding onto him tightly. "Do you have any plans? B-because… well… it's been some time since we hung out and… well… I thought maybe we could spend your birthday together…"

Seeing Lux's happy expression nearly breaks Ezreal's heart when he pulls back, and he forces a small smile, though it is obviously a facade for the unbearable agony he is feeling inside. "…I-I actually do have plans." he lies, conjuring up the best poker face he could muster. "…but I really appreciate seeing you, Lux. You didn't have to get me a cake, you know…"

Slipping away completely, the explorer kneels down to pick up the cake, holding the box securely in his arms as he smiles wide at the Demacian, showcasing his pleasure for the delectable treat she'd delivered. "…but we'll make plans soon, alright?" he says, nearly tripping over himself physically as well as he walks back into his room, shutting the door with his back.

"Alright..." The mage says quietly as he slams the door.

She storms down the hallway, trying to hide her frustration. With her fists clenched at her sides, she tries to blink it all away.

"… Why is he acting like this?"

She sighs. He is always going to leave her in the dark, just to protect her. But it… it… _hurt_. She can feel the pain settle in her chest. He has always managed to make her smile and laugh, to forget about her worries, but… this strange feeling has been lingering for too long.

Closing the door of her own room behind her, she leans back, slumped against it. Alone. Again. The memory of Garen's departure is returning in her mind, his cape draped over his back. She buries her face into her knees, trying to shut it out.

_No emotions. No emotions. You know better._.. _Happy birthday, Ezreal…_

**III.**

The Institute has fallen. The League of Legends has disbanded. Summoners and matches on the Fields of Justice are no longer part of Lux's everyday life. She has returned to Demacia, away from her escape. She's back in the manor, away from the hectic lifestyle. Away from her friends. Away from him.

But, she can't say she isn't satisfied. She sees Garen and Prince Jarvan IV much more frequently now, and they are slowly beginning to speak again. She will have to pick up reconnaissance again, which she rather dislikes. She'd rather just be a diplomat.

Ezreal has been freed, however, and she's happy. She's happy that he gets to wander about the lands of Runeterra, finally truly free. She cannot help but feel a bit sad, too. She won't see him around as much as she likes.

The days they spend apart grow wider and wider, and Lux finds herself preoccupied with thoughts of him. Despite the tactical training, the reading, and the trips, he always manages to wander into her thoughts. What is he doing today? Did he discover something new? Perhaps an artifact or a location? Even after promising to make plans after his birthday, they did not see each other. Maybe one day he will be prepared to tell her. She writes to him, but it goes unanswered. She hopes he is alive. Not just alive, but that he is well.

He was a champion. _He knows how to survive. He must be fine; he's just busy. He has no time for someone of my caliber. Maybe it is time to discover myself again_ , she realizes. To find more books to read within the library. To visit the College of Magic and maybe start teaching there. Perhaps discuss future plans regarding Noxus with Jarvan IV and Garen and resolve them.

She has her own life from his, she knows this. Yet, her heart aches when she remembers this fact. They can never be together. They can never merge their lives into one. He has freedom, the one defining aspect of everything he ever was and everything he will be. She represents Demacia–justice and benevolence. That is who she is. These two virtues fall on the opposite ends of a spectrum, and where do they align before chaos ensues? Can they align? How much justice can one have before his or her freedom is restricted? Or how much freedom can one have before justice is jeopardized?

She knows. She knows there must be a balance. The desire to be a free bird, just like he is. The dream she will always pursue. The one challenge that she will always face, no matter how old she is.

She needs to be the wind underneath her own wings. She has learned that lesson long ago.


	8. Equinox II

**Equinox:**   
_The two points at which the Sun crosses the celestial equator in its yearly path in the sky._

It has been a few months since she has seen Ezreal and since the collapse of the League. They are merely living separate lives at this point, but ironically, they always were. They write letters back and forth, but Lux is preoccupied with her duties. She is the royal tactician of the military and a teacher at the College of Magic.

Yet despite all of her achievements, she still feels something is missing; she does not know what. Reading a letter from Ezreal, she realizes that it is him. It has always been him, and she wants to see him. Surprise.

* * *

Grand metallic buildings rise above Lux as cars drive past her. She's bewildered at the sight of the city, as her own kingdom has nothing in comparison. The technological advancements of Piltover always manage to intrigue and surprise the Lady as she makes her way towards the explorer's house. His house is moderately small, but also makes a popular tourist attraction. A brown trim dances along the edges of the house, making it seem more like a home for Ezreal. She knocks. And waits.

_What time is it?_

He doesn't have time to check the hexclock before throwing himself out of the aged chair behind his work desk to answer the door. The only thing he knows is that it's late. Very late. He wasn't sleeping, no. How could he sleep? There is far too much work to be done with the excavation coming up next week.

He jiggles the handle with a quivering palm. He's not sure who he's expecting to be behind the door. He only harbors memories of one person who would usually visit at this hour of night, and he, of course, knows far too well that it's not them.

No, instead he's greeted with happy, sky eyes and flaxen hair a few shades lighter than his own, and he can't help but clasp a palm over his lips at the sight of her before grasping both of her armored wrists in his gloved hands and tugging her into the warmth of his home. The auburn-hued oil lamp's light radiates off of her profile and tints her pale blonde strands to a honey gold.

He likes it.

She is overwhelmed with surprise as she feels his warm, gloved hands pull her into his home. His smile is wide and welcoming; she's not used to this. Suddenly, the mage is filled with nostalgia. Her throat feels stuck for a moment. Wishing she could knock on his door without a hassle every day, wishing that she could see him… wishing that he could share his time with her by his side.

"What are you doing here?" His question is breathless and his brows are soft. "They closed the borders after the Institute fell. How…?"

She is flustered for a moment, before she answers.

"The rumors of us being together had an advantage this time… they were surprised to see me, but they received my visit well. I simply told them I was going to see you, which isn't a lie. Plus, Caitlyn would back me up if I needed it." The girl laughs. She suddenly feels at home again, as if they're back at the Institute and as if every weight has been lifted off her shoulders. "I simply wanted to see you again. It's been so long. I was worried about you, although I heard of your presentation… what you discovered in the Piltovian mines. You know, that huge dragon's remains." A smirk is planted on her face. "I'm proud of you… and… I just miss you."

The room, and the entire house, really, feels about seven degrees warmer and ten times more comfortable with Lux in it. He doesn't let go of her wrists. Instead he secures his grip all the more tight, the pads of his thumbs tracing over the carvings in her brilliant, argent-colored armor.

He doesn't know what those carvings mean. He's never asked. He assumes they're just detailing, but it's altogether possible they could mean something more. Something important.

"You came to see me?"

His brows furrow. His head lightly tilts to the side just like it always has. He's surprised and yet not surprised all at once. He catches a hint of her scent; vanilla and rain. The nostalgia makes him sigh, but he veils it with a shake of his blonde strands and a pair of closed oceanic eyes. He keeps them closed as he finally slips his deft fingers away from her wrists and instead tugs her in for an embrace. His nose presses into the thin ivory fabric with gold filigree that covers her shoulder.

He breathes in. His heart stills. She came because she missed him. He can't disappoint her, not tonight. He just cannot bring himself to see her sad.

She can feel his thumbs lightly follow the designs that are embedded in the metal that is wrapped around her wrists. He seems surprised, but delighted at once. Suddenly, she is bound in his arms, but she's fine with it. Her hands clutch at the cool fabric on the back of his hazel jacket, her face is buried into his shoulder.

It all feels so familiar. She's taking in his scent of summer nights and whisked smoke, and she's indulging before it disappears. Before she goes back to the smell of lilacs and honey. And then she hears him.

"Stay as long as you can, then?" He asks.

 _Yes_ , she thinks. She would stay as long as she could. Perhaps she is thinking that she took his presence for granted. Perhaps she believed that the League of Legends would outlive the both of them. Perhaps she thought they would achieve peace and live near each other… But she did not think of this, and she spites herself for it.

Lux simply nods.


	9. Star

**Star:**   
_A luminous ball of plasma held together by its own gravity._

In a way, everyone is a star. They are all minuscule pieces of the galaxy, trying to meld together as one. Containing their own paths of orbit–their dreams–even though they may not know where these dreams lead.

The two are lying in the fields, outside Piltover's grasp. A soft breeze flows above them. He tells her what she missed--how he had fleetingly pursued one of the curators at the museum. 

"My dream is dead. I shouldn't strive for anything besides exploring at this point. Relationships are shit." He says, turning to face the Lady. His icy blue eyes shimmer at her, like the sky at one o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon. His hair is ruffled against the edges of the grass's blades, as her blonde strands are sprawled apart alongside his.

She lifts a gloved hand towards the night sky. "You just reminded me of something. The saying that when you wish upon a star, you're actually late because they're a million light years away. So your dreams were dead before you even wished for them."

A shocked laugh escapes his lips–it is obvious he is amused by her answer, one of which someone would not expect from such a diligent noble.

"Do you have any dying dreams?"

She looks at Ezreal this time–really looks–and her heart wanes. It's pounding within her chest, but in the meanwhile, it wants to escape this cage of bones. Her eyes wander towards his broad shoulders, and she wants to bury her face against him. Just to remind herself that he's real. That he's here with her.

One answer lingers within her mind. Us.

He is a dream come true. The unbelievable, the impossible, the unreachable. She thought she could see him. Or perhaps he should have seen her. They say that if you shoot for the moon, it doesn't matter if you miss because you'll land among the stars. She thinks that it'd be best to keep falling. She is out of her orbit, being around him.

He makes her think about things she would be condemned for thinking. Each star she sees tonight represents the infinite amount of possibilities that she could face. A lighthouse can be seen in the distance, which makes Lux smile. She loves lighthouses. If she leaves home, she can finally be free, like him.

She has to wonder: What if the League of Legends never existed? What if she never came to the library that day? Or saw him in the hallway? Would they still meet? All these questions, and they lead to this moment here in time. Sitting on the grass with Ezreal.

But that answer never leaves her mouth.


	10. Black Hole

**Black Hole:**  
_The collapsed core of a massive star. Stars that are very massive will collapse under their own gravity when their fuel is exhausted. The collapse continues until all matter is crushed out of existence into what is known as a singularity. The gravitational pull is so strong that not even light can escape._

Light is the one element that defines Lux. Light is what even defines her name. It is what defines her cause. It is what protects her. Until now. She won't dare admit it, but she knows her light is slowly fading because of love—something pathetic, something she never saw coming.

Ezreal is the black hole, the one who pulled her into his orbit, and she cannot escape. He will destroy her very existence if she stays...or leaves. So she is trapped, forever, in this never-ending vortex of love, hate, simplicity and yet complexity.

"You're my best friend, Lux." He says each time he breaks her heart, as if he knows it will make her stay. Everyone knows he doesn't know any better. "There's no one else I can talk to about this kinda stuff. You're the only one who cares."

And yet he is somehow used to her light, or at least extinguished it too much before to know it was always there.

"I know," is her reply every time.

Her head is screaming at her to stop being so impulsive and to follow her duty. For once, she won't listen.


	11. Circumpolar

**Circumpolar:**  
_A star that never sets but always stays above the horizon._

She has only ever known what her kingdom has wanted, and that she must fulfill their dreams. She must make her dream theirs, for nothing else is acceptable. After meeting Ezreal, she realizes her dreams are more. That she can love someone—someone who is not her Prince Charming. A someone who can never give her what she wants. She believes that if she dreams, she'll have it. She'll have it all, and that is why she fights.

Lips part with laughter. Blue eyes twinkle with a light only unique to him. He's so close to her, yet so far away. His knee slightly presses against hers, but it's all she can feel. He's leaned back against the couch, with his head lazing against the cushion and his arm propped up on his other knee. She's sitting like a Lady should, her ankles crossed while she twiddles her fingers back and forth together out of timidity.

His arm sweeps against her, and she looks at him as he tilts his head back with amusement.

All of a sudden, she is flooded with a foreign feeling–one that she never experienced in her life. An urge to hold his face and kiss his cheeks overwhelm her, and she looks down for a moment. She hates the feeling; it makes her feel helpless with every fiber of her being. He doesn't notice.

Her eyes dart to his lips and she is reminded of the way he purses his lips when he makes snarky comments in defiance or when he's in deep thought. Her gaze averts to his cheeks, and she thinks to herself that his triangles complement his pale cheekbones. She remembers that she is here with him, and for a moment, she forgets that she is Luxanna Crownguard, the poster girl of Demacia.

Lux argues with herself constantly. She knows that the future will never agree with them, but that does not seem to stop her yearning heart. She simply wants to prove the future wrong, but how can she stop something that was set before she was even born? She is a Crownguard, an exemplary Demacian soldier and Lady. He is an explorer, meant to travel the world and dig within the ruins.

This does not tame her wild heart. She realizes that she loves him—and it scares her. She realizes that she loves the way he talks about the world, as if it's a gift to be given. She realizes that she loves his signature smirk, the one he flashes after a bad joke every so often. His laugh, whether it be a low chuckle, or a booming guffaw. His jokes, even though he should be more serious at times. His tendency to borrow artifacts and his delay in returning them. His confidence and yet his humility. His silence and his words. It is love, even if he only loves the world. She realizes she loves him, even though she believed that she could never love anyone.

And there is simply no one else.


	12. Conjunction

**Conjunction:**  
_An event that occurs when two or more celestial objects appear close together in the sky._

Ezreal will never admit it to anyone, not even himself, that he’s slowly falling in love with Lux. Being such a celebrity explorer, he is often barricaded with questions regarding his life outside of exploring, but he knows better than to satiate their curiosities.

They see each other often, more than the two of them would like to admit. Lux finds herself delaying her obligations spending time with him, and although she reprimands herself for letting a person affect her as such, it does not stop her.

They are sitting in two cushioned chairs next to each other as usual, with him telling her stories of his adventures. She laughs her signature laugh, and he discovers a wide grin sweeping across his face. She stares at him intently, simply waiting for the next detail of the story, and Ezreal sees the deep ocean in her eyes, promising uncertainty, but also serenity. He finds his heart beating fast, but he figures he is simply happy that she is listening to him so earnestly.

He does not understand what she does to him, not yet.

It is only when he leaves for his adventures that he realizes that she has always been there and the only reason he keeps coming back. His heart wanes when he realizes that he misses Lux. He’s suddenly filled with deep regret and sorrow, for how could a Demacian noble graceful and beautiful as she see something, let alone everything in him? After what he did to her? After he had abandoned her for months and refused to keep in contact with her? 

She did not show face to it bothering her, however. She simply smiled and said, “It’s okay, Ezreal.” 

It’s always okay to Lux, he thinks. But he knows she is lying. He knows it hurts, but she has promised to never let anyone see. To see who she truly is behind Luxanna Crownguard.

He can read it in her bright eyes and her soft lips and her gloved hands. She can lie, but she can’t lie to him. He realizes he missed her reassurance and security. She never lets him doubt anything, especially himself. 

Shit, he thinks. I need to stop thinking about her.

But he can’t get her out of his mind: her small giggles and the way she covers her mouth with her hands. Her gentle, polite mannerisms yet her loud, unladylike taunts. Her positive, bright attitude yet her dark, cynical doubts. She does not realize it, but she is also a contradiction and a beautiful one at that.

He finds that he would not mind returning home for once.


	13. Binary Stars

**Binary Stars:**   
_A system of two stars that revolve around a common center of gravity._

The first time she expected to say ‘I love you’ was to her Prince Charming. The first boy to catch her eye was Ezreal, the very opposite of one. The first time she says ‘I love you’ to the explorer isn’t what she expects it to be at all. She expects them to be sitting underneath the stars and the moon on a marble balcony, him sneaking through Demacia to visit her. She expects it to flow from her lips seamlessly, ending it with a sweet peck on the lips and with their faces lit by the moonlight. She’s a hopeless romantic, but she will never admit that.

No, the first time she says ‘I love you’ is within the comforts of Ezreal’s home. They’re sitting on the floor; Ezreal’s sitting across from her with one knee bent and one leg jutted out, his elbow resting against his knee and a signature smirk planted on his face. Lux is twiddling her thumbs back and forth, her lips fumbling over her words.

“I’m not sure what it is I feel about you…” Ezreal says, looking away from her for once. “I know I care a lot for you. You’ve become so important to me. But I don’t like that word… Love.”

“I’m not sure about it either.” She lies, letting her pride get the best of her. She knows that he emits a feeling within her that she thought she would never experience due to her birthright. Arranged marriages were always beneficial, especially for a Crownguard. Love is a fragile concept, a concept that was always far out of her reach, until now.

“Let’s just take it one day at a time then?”

She nods.

Only when they realize that they might lose each other do they realize that it is exactly what they were afraid of. Loving someone completely along with its risks is something she didn’t dream of; Lux knows that if he were to leave, she’d lose sight of herself again.

She stops him one day, with tears flowing down her cheeks. She wants to make it known how much he means to her, in case she never has the chance to say it again.

“I know you don’t like that word… I don’t like it either. At least… I didn’t like it. I was never sure of it with anyone until now.” She’s staring down at the ground, pulling at the silk fabric of her gloves. Ezreal notices and bites his lip. “And that terrifies me because I feel so much for you, and you could break me in an instant, if you wanted to.” A pause. She knows he could. She knows he only would because he cannot help it. 

“But I don’t even want to tell you ‘I love you,’ because you deserve so much more than just ‘I love you.’ You lift me up, yet you keep me grounded. You make my heart race, yet slow down. I feel so calm and yet scared around you. You will never understand how your jokes, your smirk, or your smile… or your laugh make my entire day, even when it’s only for a few seconds. I love every single moment we share together… You deserve the universe, and I’d like to show it to you, if you’d just allow me to.”

Ezreal blinks. “Lux…”

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything–” 

He grabs her hand and pulls her towards him.

“I’m pretty sure I feel the L word. With you, I mean.” A nervous chuckle escapes the seemingly confident explorer.

She pauses, sucking in her breath quietly. Her heartbeat quickens, then calms after a moment of realization. 

This moment may not have been under the moonlight, but it was something she would remember always.


End file.
